I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
