is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
