Define "chronic" masturbator.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
