They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
