Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
