Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
