I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
