So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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