Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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