Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
