Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
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