Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
