Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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