I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
