And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
