you would pick up someone in the library
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize