I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Actions speak louder than pants.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize