I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
