just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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