Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
