No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize