I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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