This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she peed on how many people?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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