K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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