the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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