Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize