It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
did i walk over a car last night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I deserve this hangover.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
