Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
