Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
