I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
