Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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