On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize