I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize