What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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