quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
