it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
