drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize