Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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