Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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