Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
