Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
