Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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