You don't have asthma, your pregnant
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
