Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
