You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
