new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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