My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
