And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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