so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
