i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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