yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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