oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
