I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
