We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
