Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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