I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
