She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
