Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Can Purell be used as lube?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
why is half of my head shaved?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
