so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
