There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
