you have to choose: penises or morals?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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