You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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