u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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