This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
