How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize